Training is for failing

I used to treat every lesson, with my regular trainer or at a visiting clinician’s, like a performance to prove. I wanted them to see my hard work, and the result was a tense rider and an even tenser horse. I called it bad luck at first: why did we always have “bad days” when someone was watching? The anxiety stuck, and I learned less.

Eventually I realised I had it backwards. Lessons and training sessions are for failing. They are for challenging yourself and your horse. Without failing you aren’t really progressing. It takes courage to leave your comfort zone and push harder, exactly what growth requires.

My old mindset had two downsides:

• I rode defensively and poorly, so we had to rework things that were normally easy.

• I avoided real learning, because I was focused on proving a point, not improving.

Lessons are for acquiring new skills, refining old ones, and practising fixes. It’s fine, essential, even, to fail in practice. Those five minutes in the competition ring are what need to go smoothly; the rest of the time is rehearsal for them.

You’ll hear people say that they “win the warm‑up,” yet then the test still goes wrong. The warm‑up isn’t a contest. The warm‑up and practice ring exist so you can make mistakes, correct them, and avoid repeating them when it matters.

Practical approach:

• Try your best and welcome mistakes as information.

• Listen to your horse and your feel in every session so you learn for next time.

• Simplify your mindset so other people’s presence barely registers. Treat the crowd like wallpaper.

A “bad ride” in a lesson can be a gift. Your trainer sees the problem at its worst and helps you work through it. That experience becomes a confidence bank for the next time you face the same issue alone. In my experience, when a lesson starts poorly, we often finish with the horse giving his best work.

Bottom line: fail deliberately at home and in lessons so you can perform when it counts.

If you want to get out of your own way and break through limiting beliefs, check out my mindset courses, or book a 1 on 1 mindset session!