Updated: Jul 16, 2019
Recently I briefly touched on how I had lost my mojo and how upsetting it was to me to feel like I had lost my love and passion for my horses and riding. I am still building myself up but I am feeling a lot better about things lately. I was so overwhelmed and humbled by how many people reached out with their own experiences and to show support on the original post and through messenger. There are some amazing people out there making our sport such a cool place to live in! I can see how valuable it was for me to share my experiences as connecting with you all really helped me but I can see how it helped others too!
Here are some of my thoughts on how to get out of your own rut should you run into the same wall that I did.
1. Remind yourself what your original vision was
When I was ready to move forward out of my own rut, I spent the best part of a day really looking deep within myself to see the way out. At first I was overwhelmed as I didn't really know where to start but then I realised I need to do just that, start at the beginning! I had some really honest conversations with myself about what it was that was my original vision. What my values are when it comes to my life and horses and how I was going to use these to pick myself back up. This had to come first for me, above any goals or future vision I have for myself. When I had identified that I really just do this because I love horses, I was able to see my vision for how I want to train clearer and I was able to lighten my mind and just let go of everything that was weighing me down. I released any expectations I had of myself and my little team and I made the conscious choice to go out there the next day and just let myself notice how much I love about my horses. I stayed present with them the following day and while the spark didn't come right away, I was really able to appreciate how much I do enjoy being with them. It took some time to build up to now where I am really loving it again and thats totally okay. I was very careful to be gentle with myself and not get back into the pattern I have previously been in of beating myself up when things aren't perfect. These things were really crucial for me in taking back control of my fire.
2. Being connected and committed
Once I had remembered what my vision and values were when it comes to my horses and draw on notes I had written to myself in the past I was able to then be really honest with myself about my connection and commitment to those. Of course, it was still there. While I couldn’t feel it at the time, my fire was still burning, it was just smaller than before but fundamentally I haven't changed. I have grown and I know more but my values and vision are the same as they always were. Identifying this allowed me to reconnect with what I felt was important, things became even more clear for me to move forward. I really could see while I was struggling there was no point at all in quitting when I have come so far.
I also allowed myself to feel proud of my journey so far and really reflect on where I started and what little me would have thought of it all so far, and what little me would think about where I am now. I noticed that I did feel really warm and happy with where I have been and little me would be stoked to know that I eventually found my path back to horses and what I am doing with them now. That stoked my fire a little more. That time of reflection was a really powerful tool for me in this time.
4. The next step
I then turned my attention to what I needed to do next. One was getting back up and getting out there the next day and allowing myself to feel that joy I was missing so much. As I said it didn't come right away but I didn't give up on that. It slowly crept back a little more each day. I also sat down and set some goals for myself and each of my horses, this allowed me to commit to my vision more and move forward with a sense of purpose and security within myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to! Small steps every day really add up quickly over time so it’s important to keep taking them each day. I was also proud of myself to realise that even though I had lost my mojo, I was still disciplined within that period to work on my goals and progress each day, even though I wasn't loving it.
It's not a nice place to be but what I have learnt is that there is no place on earth where it is always stormy. Be kind to yourself but you don't need to accept your limiting beliefs and lack of energy as being permanent. There is always a way out if you have the courage to look for it.